Saturday, 20 June 2009
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Practicing My Pitch for Big Toes in Heaven (re-edited)
Practicing My Pitch for Big Toes in Heaven [Re-Edited]
Big Toes in Heaven is a 188,000 word character-driven novel for single women who love fashion, wish to find love, value their friends and careers, and might just wonder about God once in a while. Its characters are twenty-three and learn to navigate the world in the Washington, DC area. They cuss, drink and discuss who they have, have not, and would like to sleep with. They are “Big Toe People”…people who have less than the idiomatic “one foot in heaven.” But there’s hope in that their big toe is what human beings use for balance; it’s a start. Yoli, Paulina, Ria, Karyn and Ashley discover they have more people on their side and more resources than they realized.
These ladies have huge differences in life experience -- from Ashley who has never made an adult decision, to Yoli who tends to get a bit wild, to Karyn who has "been there, done that"--
and in faith -- like Karyn's view of Christians as hypocrites, Ria's devout Catholicism, and Paulina's fledgeling faith that has caused a rift between her and her iconic porn star parents.
Big Toes in Heaven is Chasing Harry Winston (by the same author of The Devil Wears Prada) meets The Purpose Driven Life. It is Sex in the City for women of conscience...because a couple of these girls discover boundary-setting in their love lives and how to find their own fulfillment beyond that of having a man.
Together, these ladies learn to navigate adulthood, careers, sex, and the residual effects of how they were raised.
Though Big Toes in Heaven has a Christian perspective, I believe it fits the values of any major worldview. It's just that writing from my own Christian worldview came most naturally. My goal as a writer is to encourage single women, to entertain them and help them see their lives as fulfilling adventures of friendships and spiritual enlightenment. Chick lit is likely my niche because I was single until my late 30's; I write from experience. I lived my single days with humor, mishaps and adventure...it unfolded like a series of chick novels. My undergraduate degree from George Mason University was in English with a writing concentration. My Masters Degree in Education is from the same school and was focused on Secondary English. Teaching literature, writing, and research for seven years strengthened my skill as a writer.
Meet the girls:
Yoli
Paulina 
Karyn 
Ashley
Ria 
If the above was all you had to go by, would you want to read the manuscript? Any suggestions on how to make this a sharper sell? (Seriously, I'd love some constructive criticism)
Currently
Making the Perfect Pitch: How To Catch a Literary Agent's Eye
By Katharine Sands
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Comments (58)
I thought it was already published and I was ready to order a copy.
@saintvi - Gosh, thanks!
I'm heading to a writers conference at the end of next week...the hope is that I'd find a literary agent to help me sell my book to a publisher.
Hmm... who is the pitch for? Is it for a publisher? I'm assuming probably so. How long are pitches normally?
I think you cover a lot of area with your pitch. Is there room for more detail? You don't really lay out a specific plotline at all (I'm thinking like back of the book cover type stuff). Is that something that would be in a pitch?
I like how you briefly introduce the characters. You give a little bit of detail but not too much detail.
Oh, I also think that it's really appealing that you say the book is like Sex and the City and Chasing Harry Winston but different. Even though both of those books were very successful, there are many that also feel that they were a little raunchy so the fact that you show your book covers a lot of the same topics in a different, less out there way is quite appealing.
Overall, I think the book sounds very appealing (and I'm not saying that just because I've read some of the chapters that you have posted here lol).
Cool so cool.
I think the concept is Great & I look forward to reading it & saying I KNOW you... but I have some suggestions.
You might not want to use the phrase "chick lit" bc the term is considered outdated in marketing.
The beginning phrase could use a better hook. Maybe work in the "we all use our big toes for balance."
Also, maybe rephrase "I'm highly qualified to write chick lit because I was single for so long." It sounded just a little stiff to me.
http://queryshark.blogspot.com/ is a good place to read.
=)Kris
You have some great suggestions above....me...I don't have a clue...it sounds good to me....
I seriously cannot wait to read it should I ever get the chance.
It looks great to me, but then I don't know a whole lot in this department. Haha. Good luck!
Oh, the one thing I noticed (just because I'm paranoid about grammar errors) is that in the last paragraph, the sentence that starts with "My masters...", I think you have an extra "is" in there between "Masters" and "in Education".
Other than that, it looked fine to me! It is definitely intriguing. :)
@AliasUndercover - Because you're not in the target audience, I've doubly touched that you'd be interested in reading it! Thanks for the vote of confidence. And for the mini
@TheCheshireGrins - Excellent feedback...thanks. It was just what I was looking for.
One of the main suggestions for a pitch is that it read like a jacket cover for the book. It has to be short. 4 paragraphs or 1 page is the suggestion. Introduce the setting and the main characters and the problem is another suggestion. I'm reading a book on preparing your pitch, and many of the articles contradict one another...but then the agents who wrote them are very different from one another. I'm learning that it's true that I need to tailor each query letter for each agent I send it to. If the plot is covered, it should be the barest of sketches like beginning-middle-end (though some agents are okay with just beginning and middle.) It should grab the reader without going into detail. It should make the reader ask to see your manuscript. Since I'm going to meet agents in person, and even have an official interview with one, I'm imagining the stuff here to be a verbal pitch...but also things I could put in a query later if I don't land an agent on the spot.
Some agents like you to compare your work to other well known works, but I fear that some would think that was tacky. Still, it's easy to do a comparison for my book. I've been told by many people who've asked about my book, "Oh, so it's like a Christian Sex in the City." The more I think of it, the more I think that description works. But I'm hesitating to market it as a Christian (aka "inspirational") novel because of all the cussing, drinking and sex. Christians aren't my target audience, though they are definitely a fringe audience who may well buy the book.
@embrown88 - Thanks! I think it's important that my target audience thinks the book is cool, so your response put a smile on my face!
@Made2sing4Jesus - Just the kind of feedback I wanted! Very helpful. As soon as I post this comment/reply, I'm going to visit the link you gave me. I thought chick lit was a current term...what has it been replaced with? I think you're right about the line sounding stiff. I need to find a way to make that one of my qualifications without sounding so stiff.
@Made2sing4Jesus - Hey, that query shark looks really great. I'll send in a query letter and see if I get critiqued.
@Neeka1 - Thanks!
@LostInTheLyrics - Wow, that's a real encouragement.
@leannenannette - Great...I'll edit that sentence. If it makes the reader stumble, then it isn't polished enough...that's what I always told my students when we were editing each others' papers.
You're a writer? Nice!!!
This is great. Your opening paragraph could use a bit of rework. "It's much less than the idiomatic "One foot in heaven," but it's a start." I wouldn't put anything with "much less" in the opening. Also, "we use our big toes for balance." If you use this as your focus for what leads your story to this balance in the women, I think you have a very successful opening paragraph. Hope that makes sense. I love this story flow. Best of luck to you. (pats heart and points to you)
All in all it covers everything you wanted to cover within the guidelines you need to follow. The blurbs about the book would get me to read it, but the synopsis about you didn't sell me. For some reason I got the feeling you were almost apologizing for your lack of published experience. Maybe make that part more interesting and less statistical? Hope you do get it done, I'd like to read it.
@nidan - Thanks!
@Jaynebug - I'll play with the opening...thanks...and repost this in a day or two. I'm touched at the truly constructive feedback I'm getting.
@BigToePeople - No prob, glad to know, that'll make me come back for more!
@AnamcharaConcepts - Yeah, you probably sensed that I was trying to cover my bases...I'm not published, so I have to tell them why I'm an expert in the content of my book. You're an intuitive reader. I'm going to ponder your comments and repost this in a day or two. Thanks!
@nidan - Thanks. Yes, that's the sole reason I started this blog site. I stick with because of all the neat friends I've made here.
@BigToePeople - I have a blog just for my fiction writing: www.xanga.com/jimmythecricket
@BigToePeople - Glad I could help
Hope you get critiqued.
I think it's mostly just called "women's fiction" now.
@Made2sing4Jesus - Wow, if it's "women's fiction" then it's a broader audience and closer to "commercial fiction" which sells more books...aka more desirable to publishers because you'll make them more money. Will post if I get critiqued and tag you!
Can I buy one too?
@PrincessaTreNella - If it gets published, I'll send you one
(Just remind me because I'll be busy celebrating, lol.)