Tuesday, 30 June 2009
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Cycle Day 1
Cycle Day 1
That's what today is.
Last month, that meant tears, devastation, and a deep need to be as close to God and Steve as possible.
This month, it's "Whatever." Not in a bad way. No, more like resigned to the fact that God is in charge of the timing and nothing I can say or do will change that. I can't make God let me be pregnant. I might not feel God today, but I can look at the world and say, "God, I love you anyway." And the day looks as bright and cheery as any other day. That's a gift.
What will I do with today? Well, this evening, I'll enjoy some good wine...not something I've been able to do for the past few weeks.
I've decided to celebrate today as a half-calorie day. That's not a myth. I read it in a reputable health magazine a few months ago.
Did you know that the first couple of days of your cycle, your body can metabolize food better? That means that only half the calories will land on you. No kidding. That's why it's okay to indulge your cravings at that time of the month. [Edit: I've tried to find the article to link to it, but I'm having no luck. The best I can find is one that says it's only a 10% increase in ability to metabolize calories. I know the one I read said twice as many.]
Cycle Day 1 = 1/2 Calorie Day
So I'm going to eat my entire 70% Cocoa Dark Chocolate Lindt Candy Bar. All for me. Today, Mr. Lindt is my best friend
I wish I had a wheel of brie. I'd do something yummy with it and scarf it all up. Okay, I'd share it with Steve. Maybe I'll have to hit the store on my way home...I could make it work with the beef ribs that are currently sitting in a crock pot at home with some pomegranite juice, walnuts and red onion right now...Hmmmm...I feel some brie en croute coming on...
If you had a half-calorie day, what would you eat?
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Voyager
By Diana Gabaldon
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Comments (26)
I know a few couples who have been trying to conceive for years. They're all young, and their frustration just stabs me with sadness. I don't know that frustration, but when I imagine life without Thomas, it brings me to tears. I'll be praying for you and Steven in that regard.
It's too bad the half calorie day isn't right before menstruation--that's when I crave sweets and fatty foods. Brie sounds awesome. Could you mail me some?
@Amarisa - Thank you for the prayer...I know that's what will make all the difference in this. It means a lot. Would you like me to mail the brie before or after I bake it in the crust? I'm salivating just thinking about it!
@Amarisa - PS - This month marks two years of trying.
@guestbrief - Thanks! What's odd is that we've been pretty relaxed the whole time. There was a few months, towards the end of our first year of trying, when I got a bit uptight about it. But being calm has been a real gift from God. The "peace that passes understanding" has prevailed for months...though last month, when we were convinced we were prengant and it turned out negative...that was 3 days of being really, really down. But I think the relaxation is back. Probably why I feel, "Whatever" about it. Also, we want to go on a cruise in March around the Mediterranean and the Holy Land...I can't go if I'm due or in my 3rd trimester. We're wondering if that cruise is why God wants to hold off. We'll see. If I get pregnant this summer, we can't go.
@BigToePeople - Ooooh, a cruise would be pretty relaxing!! Timing is everything!!! lol
@guestbrief - Yes, timing is!!! lol. Also, I think our vacation this year might interfere with our fertility clinic stuff...it's 2 weeks in late Aug and early Sept. I think that's fine...maybe God wants us to conceive on our own in between fertility treatments. I don't mind. Whatever it takes to give God all the glory.
I am afraid my half calorie days are over, but I think I would just eat all the fresh, still-warm bread I wanted slathered with butter!
Oh! ---and good things are worth waiting for. It's very possible that a year from now, you could be holding your baby. So, just pray the prayer that never fails... Thy will be done! Enjoy your chocolate!
@DanishDoll - Ooh, warm bread+butter. Yum. Yes, God's will, and all to his glory. Looking forward to my chocolate...I forgot to put it in the lunch I packed this morning, but I'll have it as soon as I get home.
One of my favorite brie recipes is baked brie with kahlua and almond topping. All you do is mix 1/4 cup of Kahlua with a bit of brown sugar (as much as you want) and some sliced almonds and put it over the brie cheese and bake at 350 until the topping is gooey and the cheese starts to melt (usually about 15 minutes). I usually slice and bake baguette bread with some butter on top. I don't know about you but sweet and salty combos win during my cycle.
@TheCheshireGrins - Mmmm. I remember that recipe from before. I adore brown sugar. I might have to try it. Let's see what I find at the store on my way home. I was also thinking of dried apples inside a filo crust.
I'd eat just the same, but I'd be happier about it!
@TeacherPerson - Yes, normally I'd think that way too. But I've been SO disciplined with my eating in the past month or two that I'm feeling the need to splurge for a day.
ooo yum this post was awesome..i could just feel ur carefree attitude..wooohooo this gimme a reason to not abhor that time so much nemore haha
I love your attitude towards all of this. Thy will be done. Thy will be done. Thy will be done. Christ's words before the crucifixion. Relieve me of this pain, but nevertheless not my will but yours. In ALL things give thanks. You have so much to be thankful for. And maybe look at it from a different perspective. You are someone's Godmother, which is a huge priviledge, and a vehicle in which you can be a second mom, which can be HUGE. And maybe in the future, you will have an opportunity to be a surrogate mom to someone, a foster parent, an adoptive parent or something like that. There are SO many ways to be significant in the life of a child, and SO many children, babies, newborns who need that care, prayer and love, even if its just thorugh your dedicated prayers. This could be a blessing to you. There is always a reason that God let's things happen or not happen. I will pray for whatever that reason/blessing is. I'm sure it's amazing, even though we don't know and can't see it through the Lord's eyes or heart. - Jilly
@zxzSweetHonestyzxz - Thanks. It actually was a fun day! I ate the entire candy bar except 2 squares, which I gave to Steve. I tried the dark chocolate with chillis. Just a little afterburn, but no better than my 70% Cocoa bar. Then I made brie wrapped in puff pastry. I put dried apples and dry sage in there too. It was DIVINE! We each ate half! (Oink oink) I had a large glass of wine and read a few chapters in a great novel before he came home. I haven't had much wine lately, so it went straight to my head, lol.
@twoboycrazy - Thanks, Jilly. Yep, God's will and God's timing. It's not worth getting my knickers in a twist. If we get pregnant this summer (June, July or Aug) then we can't go on the Holy Land cruise in March. Of course, a baby is more important than a cruise, even if it's a spiritual pilgrimage, so we're not stopping our attempts. But it's making the negative pregnancy tests even more okay, above and beyond our yielding to God's timing.
LOL. Word to the wise, it IS worth getting your knickers in a twist. It's worth a little rage, I'd say. A LOT of rage. It's part of the healing process. This is a huge thing that is going to require the whole gamut of emotions. Allow yourself to go through them fully. It won't negate your peace that passes understanding, you are human...In this season, there are gifts. God's will be done and your peace is an amazing gift from God too. Pain and all that comes with it is also a gift, one that no one wants, but a gift nonetheless. There are things that God wants to give you that he cannot give you any other way except this way. Praise God for your peace and your attitude in all of this!!
@twoboycrazy - I've done some of all of that. Maybe not rage, but still taking all that to go in an honest way. He can take it. But, really, if he can deliver me a husband as amazing as Steve, then he has a solution for us regarding wanting to be parents. Steve is the man who deserves a few arrows in his quiver for honoring God his whole life. God's not messing with us...he's just up to something we can't see yet.
I'm like Amarisa - I get hungry before my menstruation! But now that I JUST finished it, I have no appetite. LOL!
Lindt chocolate is the best! Ahhhh, now I want some. My grandma gets her two daughters-in-law (my mom and aunt) a bag of the Lindt truffles for Christmas every year b/c she knows what huge chocohaulics they are. Lol.
As you know, I'm praying nightly for you. All of you have been on my mind even more lately as it seems so many people are having miscarriages.
@leannenannette -
No baby this time. I had a negative pregnancy test on Saturday and then my period came early on Sunday. Here we go again!
It was nice to be away for our anniversary when we got the news. Steve had a weekend of relaxation planned on the Riverwalk in San Antonio. We had to leave for our spa treatments shortly after I had the negative pregnancy test. He got us a package deal at a nice hotel, and valet parking was part of the package. So we gave them our car on Friday night and didn't get it out again until Sunday. We walked the 6 or 7 blocks to the wedding on SAturday night. Normally, it would have been a nice stroll. But it was still 100 degrees out at 7pm. I'm glad that all the other guests were sweating too! It was one of the neatest weddings we've ever been too. So much love and fun, but also the spirituality of it was really neat. It was both our first Jewish wedding and I could really feel the Lord there. Sweet couple obviously made for each other. It's nice to attend a wedding and think, "This is going to last." I think I'll do a post on the wedding when Steve is done organizing and naming his photos. The band was so good that we danced until 2am!
Anyway, I better get to work, but I wanted to let you know since you've been praying so hard for us and I put you on pins and needles with me over the 3 eggs
And now that we know we're not pregnant, we're goign to book a Holy Land cruise with a wonderful Christian leader for March. If we get pregnant this month, we still might not be able to go, but we don't want to put things on hold with our current track record. Steve is wondering if the Lord wants us on this cruise and that's why we're not pregnant yet.
Love you and thanks for all the prayer!
@BigToePeople - Oh Kris, I'm so sorry! Thanks for telling me all of that. It means a lot to me that you are taking the time to keep me updated on all of this. :) I will keep praying as much as ever for you both. I'm so glad that you were able to get away for the weekend and help take your minds off of the news. It sounds like lovely weekend and of course you know I will love all the wedding details.
I'm so glad that you had such a great time at the wedding and could tell how in love the couple was. And how fun to dance the night away! I'm so glad that you have such a peace about this, too. You are right- the Lord is definitely up to something. That cruise sounds really neat! Maybe that is what God is waiting on! Love you too!
@leannenannette - I might have to scan the wedding program for you...it had a paragraph explaining each aspect of the Jewish wedding ceremony. It's centered on Holiness and God and family. It's all so BIBLICAL! Just Old Testament Biblical. After all the ceremony, the groom stomps on a glass. The breaking of the glass means several things, one of which is that there is pain and brokenness in life to be journeyed through together, and not just joy. And it also signifies the conclusion of the holy ceremony and gives permission to then party it up. In the reception, they did this thing where men bear the bride and groom in the air on chairs and dance around...they asked Steve to be one of the people carrying the chairs. Then significan wedding guests were born up on the chairs. I have the most priceless photo of the groom's mother, a tiny old little Japanese lady, with an amazing look on her face as they waved her around in the air on the chair. I'll definitely post that one!